If you read my earlier post, you know that I'm not blaming anyone for anything - those who dislike gay people probably have reasons. Whether it be religion, fear, lack of knownledge or a closed mind. I would like, however, to clear out one misunderstanding that I think is very common.
Most straight people who think about gay people, tend to define homosexuality as 'people who like to have sex with someone of the same gender'. This is the misunderstanding, because that definition is false. The definition should be 'people who have feelings toward someone with the same gender'. People have sex with someone they don't love every day, and a lot of gay people live unhappily in straight relationships for several reasons - because it wasn't acceptable when they were young, because of their family, because of denial.
Also, this misunderstanding usually ends up twisted - the straight person trying to protect themselves as if the gay person would have sex with anyone of the same gender.
That's also false. I mean, come on. Would a straight person want to have sex with anyone of the opposite gender? No. You look for someone who's pretty or someone you fall in love with. Gay people are no different. We just happen to fall in love with someone of the same gender rather than opposite, it has nothing to do with sex.
And if you look at it from that perspective... That this is all about love and not sex, I think that a lot of worrying, fearful people would relax. You don't fall in love with anyone you see. Love and sex are not synonymes. Though it may be hard to understand, that's how it is. Movies (even pornography) are very misleading, focusing on the wrong aspects most of the time.
Love is all there is. Feelings quite the same as everyone else. And can just as easily be hurt. But we're not that different at all. :)
3 comments:
I really like your definition!
Ida, I think there will always be people who are fearful of "otherness" whatever that may be.
I wish for more understanding, open, tolerant and peaceful people.
In a way, the old term "homophilia" is actually better, since it literally means "love of the same (gender)" and doesn't even contain the word "sex".
Of course that old term in itself carries some bad connotations, because at the time it was widely used it had an entirely negative meaning.
I really do wish it could be reclaimed or replaced with something similar, though, since its meaning is so much truer.
Sex really has very little to do with whom you love. :)
I know what you mean, Silvy. :) Yes, the term 'homosexual' isn't good since it's has the word 'sexual' in it. I don't like it.
That's why I usually use the word 'gay', since I think of it as meaning 'happy' as well. :)
I wish people would stop focusing on that part. Then again... Unfortunately there have been years and years of time when humans only real purpose was to create offspring. It's something rooted very deeply I suppose. :(
Yes Duni, people will always fear - no matter if they acknowledge it as fear or not - so it may very well be impossible to achieve true acceptance everywhere.
But that doesn't mean we can't try! *giggles*
Hugs to both of you. :)
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