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Thursday, 5 April 2012

The Rat and the World

Do you know what your Chinese Zodiac is? I'm fairly sure that I have stated so before, but considering how long I have kept this blog running I'm not expecting anyone to keep track, really...
For me, I'm a Rat, and except for the fact that I dislike parties, I'm afraid it fits me rather well. The good and the bad. There is really no reason to pretend we live our lives without flaws - everyone, and I mean everyone, have flaws. Whether they want to acknowledge them or not, this is the truth.

I was reminded of this yesterday, when I stumbled over the anime 'No. 6', where one of the two main characters call himself 'Nezumi', which can mean either Rat or Mouse. In his case, though, it is the former. He reminded me so much of myself that it scared me, and I very seldom get scared.
I have a character in one of my stories that I've written - a nameless man called 'Bastard' - and they are so similar as well, all the way down to the burn scar (although Bastard's cover most of his body). It's just so very, very typical me.

The lone wolf. The person who reveals nothing, holds all emotions bottled up inside, doesn't wince from pain and doesn't show anything except a bitter contempt for human beings. And then...that one person...innocent and completely oblivious to hardships...that changes everything. When being alone is no longer an option, when you stop paying less attention. Falling into yourself, desperately trying not to care because caring makes you vulnerable - and still...
Frustrated and completely powerless to stop it. And fiercely loyal and honest to those dear. The rest... Doesn't matter. Harsh truths without candy coating, even if they hurt. Never go into fights, just walk away. But when it's impossible, when you're cornered...that's when you get dangerous.

I know how you feel, Nezumi. I really do.

(Official art work. Nezumi on the right.)