But the clothes isn't all there is to lolita, so where to move from there? There are of course guides (like my favourite one Essence of an angel, which I very much recommend you to read), but it may be a bit difficult to comprehend everything and for a beginner to pick out the essential bits.
That's why I have decided to give you a few pointers to the most important things, and let you start from there instead of remembering everything at once. They are numbered in way of importance. (Again, note that not all lolitas may agree with my ordering, but considering I have been a lolita for more than ten years, I think that I'm allowed to have an opinion with weight.)
1. Posture
This may seem like an odd place to start, but your posture says a lot of who you are and how you feel about yourself. Lolita is beautiful, lolita is proud, lolita is confidence. Therefore, it is very important that you do not 'sag' - not even when sitting down. This is two-fold; for one, it makes you gain respect, since people will see that you are confident, and confident people carry themselves royally, and two it will help you when you get older. A bad posture when you are young nearly equals a crooked posture when you grow old.
Take a look at this picture - the leftmost one shows the ideal posture. Straight backed and proud. You are a lolita - and you know that you are beautiful, what others believe isn't important.
2. Kindness
This may be tricky, and it may also be very hard to see what kindness is. Kindness is not telling people what you really think, if it may hurt their feelings - unless they may hurt themselves if they don't know. A lot of people out there are self-destructive, and it's a lot kinder to be honest (and maybe even harsh) to them if need be.
Besides this, kindness is the woman who stays behind to help, who speaks mildly and says kind things to cheer people up. I very much advice you to find a book on kindness at the local library, and read it. Kindness can be a two-edged sword, and not all deeds that seem kind at the moment really is so. Therefore, it is a subject to be studied.
3. Self-control
Another very difficult thing to do, is self-control. Self control is when you really, really want to argue with someone - but restrain yourself since it would not only hurt the person you want to argue with (for example, drop a mean comment on a blog - hurting a complete stranger you just simply did not agree with in the process) - it will also spoil your mood and break rule nr 2. It's very seldom necessary to retort when there is the possibility of an argument. You don't need to answer all provocations or questions. You don't need to have your say in every matter.
To practice self-control, it is advisable to meet with people you always get angry with for one reason or another, and force yourself not to argue with them. The harder the challenge, the greater the reward. For self-control, I advice you to read "Her Ladyship's Guide to Modern Manners", an excellent book on how to handle the modern society's tensions, provocations and stress.
4. Be a Lady
Maybe the most common advice when it comes to lolita, is to read up on Victorian ettiquette, and in many cases this is true. Most lolitas indulge themselves in things that Victorian ladies did - like write letters, embroidering, hold tea parties, crochet, ball room dance and croquet (a game). New lolitas are therefore suggested to pick something up that Victorian ladies did (there are more than the pastimes mentioned above, of course.).
To be a Lady also, of course, includes proper manners, ettiquette and - maybe most important - to not use foul language unless the situation calls for you to drop all things lolita (like if there is an accident). A lady also doesn't run, but walks with a level head, enjoying her walk. A Lady is also always prepared, so no weather will sway her.
I think those four will do for now. The fourth one is plenty enough to remember on it's own, and the previous three are great challenges. Good luck!
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